Let the Countdown Begin!

Well today I went in for my weekly NST and OB appointment. I had everything crossed in the hopes that all these contractions weren't in vain, that I didn't drink castor oil twice for nothing, and that there was some sign that Miss M was going to get on board with this whole birth thing.

The non stress test went well, as usual. Miss M gets excited when we are in Labor and Delivery and has fun kicking the monitors off and causing a fuss. She looks great and I was out of there pretty quick. Then came the OB appointment....

When the doc walks in he always asks how the contractions are going.... this time I had to tell him that they have petered out all together and maybe I will have 1 or 2 Braxton Hicks a day, but nothing like what I was experiencing. He was happy that I was coming out of the promodral labor, but not that things weren't progressing with the contractions. Then he checked me and I could tell that he was dissapointed. Last week he had tugged my cervix down to get the baby to engage in my pelvis, which hurt more than words can express. Then he swept my membranes in the hopes of something happening. Well, my cervix popped right back up and Miss M is still happily floating about my belly, playing kickboard off of my ribs. And here is the even more frustrating part.... not only have I not progressed at all, but I REGRESSED!!!!! WTH?!

Where I was a solid 2 and over 50% effaced when I went in to L&D with those awesome contractions, now I am barely a 1! And it is not from lack of trying folks.... seriously, two words- CASTOR OIL! I know that in Ina May's book it mentions that labor can regress from stress and whatnot, but I don't think that my usual stresses and even worrying made my body regress.

The doc quickly ended the exam and we had a nice, long, very rational talk about what to do from here.... I mean, I love being pregnant and all but I would like to have Miss M before January! He was very candid about my chances of going into successful labor on my own from this point and stressed that he does not take dilation and effacement into consideration because those things can change quick. He also talked about that pesky ring of scar tissue and the fact that even though he has tried to massage it, it is really good scar tissue that is holding up. If my OB was any other OB then I would have taken his points with a grain of salt, but I know him and his reputation in the VBAC world. I know, with everything I know, that this man has done everything he can to help Miss M engage in my pelvis, get these contractions going somewhere, and have the vaginal birth that I have fought for.

Unfortunately, we both believe that it is just not in the cards for me.....

The doc stressed that if I wasn't a VBAC then he could have done more, like a Foley to help, when I went in to labor before, but because of the induction risks my body either has to do this 100% on my own, or not at all. I am very lucky to have found my OB because I felt more than comfortable asking questions and know that I wasn't fed any BS answers. In the end, he was totally fine with me continuing this pregnancy until I hit 42 weeks, for him there is no harm in it as long as Miss M continued to rock out in utero. But if in the end I was still going to end up with a c-section, why put off the inevitable was my question?

Bottom line is that if the doc thought that there was a chance that this was going to happen he wouldn't have even brought up the c-section. But he did and I decided after talking it out with him (and confirmed that I was making a solidly informed decision with the Doula) that we are going to go ahead and end the misery, lol I mean pregnancy funness. (Although he did say that maybe by setting a date Miss M will get her act together and decide that life outside is fun too!)

So.... let the countdown begin.....

 

Those Pesky Doubts...

I think that one of the hardest things about this journey is dealing with all the unknown factors in labor and delivery. Up until this point I was a cool confidant mama who just assumed that my body would fall in line with the whole going into labor bit. In the last week though I am starting to have doubts about whether my body will actually be able to work right and get this little one into the world without seeing the inside of an OR.

At my appointment about a week and a half ago my OB asked if I had had any surgery on my cervix, which I had not. Apparently I have a "funky" cervix that feels more like a ring of scar tissue and makes it really hard for others to check me and know that I am dilated. A week ago, when I thought that this was it, I went into L&D with contractions 2.5 mins apart and coming strong, yet wasn't dilated enough to be called real labor.... and the contractions have continued on and off but never strong enough to progress into labor.

Now I am worried that this funky cervix of mine can't dilate because if it feels like scar tissue will it be able to stretch like it needs to? I worry that I am having all this prodromal labor for nothing and even though my body is working hard, it just can't do what it needs to do... sigh.... I hate worrying!

I am anxious to see if I make it to my usual Weds appointment and if I have made any progress.... I just hope that I have and that my anatomy works with me and this baby girl (who is having a grand ole time propelling herself off of my ribs and headbutting my girlie parts!)

I am sure that lots of VBACing women have these doubts, especially at the end.... I just never expected anything  to do with my anatomy to be the issue. And I know that my OB is doing his best to help things along in the most natural way possible, he won't even use a Foley Catheter to get things moving.... so it is all up to me to avoid the knife!

Say a prayer, light a candle, whatever you do.... here's to my funky cervix, lol!

 

Naturally Inducing Labor FAIL

Yes, I know that babies are on their own schedule and that they will come when they are good and ready. And I definitely know that this little one is on a schedule that no one, not even the OB can figure out. But I have been having really intense contractions on and off for over a week now and even though this pregnancy has been fun and all, I am ready to get on with the VBAC action!

So yesterday at my weekly OB appointment my awesome Doc checked me and determined that not only is Miss M head down and ready to go, but he could sweep my membranes which he did.... (OUCH!). And he really surprised me when he suggested that maybe some castor oil would do the trick in getting these contractions to actually do something besides drive me nuts. Coming from a very cautious OB made me think that this was an AWESOME idea and that there was hope that it would work.... wrong!!

I looked online and tons of midwife and natural birth sites tote the dreaded castor oil as a miracle solution to getting labor going.... I read that I can either mix it with a food like eggs or drink it to make it more palatable....

First of all, that stuff is about as NASTY as it gets!!!!! I decided to mix it with some orange juice and made sure that the brand I got was odorless and tasteless. No one mentioned that the TEXTURE was going to be that of melted wax chunks!

Second of all, the thought of drinking the greasy concoction was enough to make me gag from the get go, and I hadn't even sipped any yet!

So I downed what I could, about 3 tablespoons (YUCK YUCK YUCK!) and went about my business. About 4 hours later it finally hit me and.... that was it. Sigh, yes the contractions started back up, and for a few hours they were intense and about 5 mins apart.... but nothing I couldn't talk through with effort. Double sigh..... I didn't even have to visit the bathroom again, lol.

Now I am trying to decide if I just didn't get enough down or if I am just destined to be preggers forever, lol. Oh, well... and that folks is my tale of the Dreaded Castor Oil!

 

Trip #1 to Labor and Delivery

Lol, what a crazy last couple of days! Now that I have gotten some sleep and am lucid I can write about my first adventure going to Labor and Delivery while in labor.

So on Sunday evening, around 6pm I started having timable contractions that were somewhat steady. They were about 10 mins apart and more annoying/exciting than anything. By midnight I was getting them more frequently but tried to rest since I knew that I was pretty much in it for the long haul. Meanwhile my body had decided to cleanse itself (ugh!) and by 3am I was ready to call the doula and Klint home from work. Once everyone got here Michelle (my awesome Doula) just watched me while I fidgeted around, paced, and bounced on the birth ball.

Fast forward to 9am when the contractions were coming in at about 5 mins apart, steady, and were getting stronger. We hand the girls over to our neighbor who is like a grandmother to them and head over the L&D. They hook me up and I see that now these contractions are coming about 2 1/2 mins apart (YAY!). They weren't toooo bad yet, about a 5 on the pain scale (although I have to remember that my pain tolerance is really high so I try not to diminish what I am feeling). A little while later the nurse decides to check me to see where I am at. Now, mind you that last Weds my OB said I was 1cm and about 50% effaced. This nurse, however can't even find my cervix! WTF?! So she calls the house OB who is not exactly my favorite person and he says I am not dilated at all and 80% effaced. Ummmm..... not possible chief! My OB had warned me that I have a "funky cervix" and that it is going to be hard for the nurses to tell if I am dilated at first. Of course when I try to explain this they both ignore me...grrrr.

But luckily my OB wants me to stay, walk around, and see if there is any change. Contractions turn into really intense contractions and I am handling them awesome (if I do say so myself!), but still by 5pm I am not really doing much. Finally I ask for my own OB to check me and when he does I am only 2cm!! (Take that house OB!) I am given the choice between staying and seeing what happens and coming home.

I choose to come home since I was hungry and working off of 1.5 hours of sleep in over 24 hours. So here I am, a day later, still contracting but going about business as normal. I have an appointment to see a chiropractor tomorrow to see if we can get Miss M to align right, other than that it is still a waiting game!!

 

Oh the Joys of the Unknown!

So this weekend I got to experience my first taste of the whole "Is it time?" issue with labor. Since I have never been in labor on my own, didn't have real contractions before, and never have had any of the "normal" signs that labor is beginning I am pretty clueless about what is going on with my body right now. Fun huh?

On Friday I went out and about, was perfectly fine until about 4-ish when my back really started bothering me. Across my lower back was a band of pain that just refused to subside... it sucked really! As the night got on it got a little bit worse, enough to allow me a lovely 3 hours of sleep the WHOLE NIGHT... ugh. But while I wasn't sleepy, I felt like cleaning or doing something, anything really. (At 3am I was really considering scrubbing the floor in the kitchen....) The pain wasn't terrible, just a nuisance, but I texted my doula to let her know what was going on. I didn't think I was in labor, but like I said, what do I know? I wasn't having contractions that hurt or any other sign of labor so she told me to try to rest in case this was the real deal.

By Saturday the back pain was still there, enough to make me want to permanently adhere my hot pad to my lower backside. But that was it.... nothing else. And I was still fully functioning on 3 hours of sleep. We went for a 2 hr stroll around the mall, I sexually assaulted Klint in the hopes of getting something going, and bounced on the birth ball for awhile. Yet, back pain was there with no other changes.

So here I am, Sunday evening... no changes... and I have absolutely no clue when this little girl is going to decide to come. Lol, but that is ok because she is the one who gets to decide and that is pretty cool to me!