The Start of a Journey

I have only been on this journey, a journey to fight for my rights to give birth in the manner in which is best for my baby and me, for about 2 months... but it seems like forever.

To all of you reading this, thank you. I have a feeling that I was put on this path for a specific reason and it is my sincere hopes that my fight will help someone else not have to fight as hard.

So where do I begin? I suppose the best place is in the beginning, when I had my first c-section and unknowingly put myself in the position I now find myself in.

When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, Gabby, I didn't do anything in preparation for her birth. For some reason I work best when I "wing it" and believed that all I had to do is let the doctors let me know what to do because they had my best interests at heart... right? So after having some horrible Braxton-Hicks and being downright miserable, my OB decided that inducing me at 38 weeks was probably the best thing since there was a good chance that the baby would be too big for me if I went full term. Mind you, I was not dilated, engaged, or in any stage of being in labor.  This, my friends, was mistake #1. What should have happened is me sent home with some suggestions on how to cope and wait it out. 


So on August 16th I went into L&D at 5:30am, fully prepared to be induced and push out my baby. What no one told me was how the Pitocin makes your contractions wayyy hard, wayyyy fast and I was totally unprepared and scared. All I have heard my entire life was how painful childbirth was, there was no way to cope without an epidural, etc. So of course when the nurses offered me an epidural I said sure, even though I was only 2cm. Mistake #2- no one told me that the epidural, given so early, makes labor stall and increases your chances for a c-section.


Another thing that I didn't expect was for the epidural to make my blood pressure to drop so suddenly that I would black out... not a fun feeling I assure you. So there I was, numb, not progressing, and just waiting for my body to do something all while laying in a hospital bed. Silly me! Well, about 4:30pm I had still made no progression, was only 3cm, and doing just fine.

Then my OB came in and said that she thought a c-section was appropriate because my body just wasn't progressing according to their charts. And me, being a totally trusting soul, agreed with them. I didn't ask if it was necessary or anything, just went along with the nurses that this was the best thing.

And there you have the start of this whole mess... a naive soon to be mommy, who was scared and unprepared to argue with "doctors who knew best". Looking back I am so upset at how little I knew about birth, natural birth, not this "factory-assembly" type process that is touted in the hospitals. But that was then, and now I have the knowledge to fight for this little girl's birth, the right way and not through an un-needed surgery.

Tomorrow I will catch you up to speed on why this blog was even started!