Let the Countdown Begin!

Well today I went in for my weekly NST and OB appointment. I had everything crossed in the hopes that all these contractions weren't in vain, that I didn't drink castor oil twice for nothing, and that there was some sign that Miss M was going to get on board with this whole birth thing.

The non stress test went well, as usual. Miss M gets excited when we are in Labor and Delivery and has fun kicking the monitors off and causing a fuss. She looks great and I was out of there pretty quick. Then came the OB appointment....

When the doc walks in he always asks how the contractions are going.... this time I had to tell him that they have petered out all together and maybe I will have 1 or 2 Braxton Hicks a day, but nothing like what I was experiencing. He was happy that I was coming out of the promodral labor, but not that things weren't progressing with the contractions. Then he checked me and I could tell that he was dissapointed. Last week he had tugged my cervix down to get the baby to engage in my pelvis, which hurt more than words can express. Then he swept my membranes in the hopes of something happening. Well, my cervix popped right back up and Miss M is still happily floating about my belly, playing kickboard off of my ribs. And here is the even more frustrating part.... not only have I not progressed at all, but I REGRESSED!!!!! WTH?!

Where I was a solid 2 and over 50% effaced when I went in to L&D with those awesome contractions, now I am barely a 1! And it is not from lack of trying folks.... seriously, two words- CASTOR OIL! I know that in Ina May's book it mentions that labor can regress from stress and whatnot, but I don't think that my usual stresses and even worrying made my body regress.

The doc quickly ended the exam and we had a nice, long, very rational talk about what to do from here.... I mean, I love being pregnant and all but I would like to have Miss M before January! He was very candid about my chances of going into successful labor on my own from this point and stressed that he does not take dilation and effacement into consideration because those things can change quick. He also talked about that pesky ring of scar tissue and the fact that even though he has tried to massage it, it is really good scar tissue that is holding up. If my OB was any other OB then I would have taken his points with a grain of salt, but I know him and his reputation in the VBAC world. I know, with everything I know, that this man has done everything he can to help Miss M engage in my pelvis, get these contractions going somewhere, and have the vaginal birth that I have fought for.

Unfortunately, we both believe that it is just not in the cards for me.....

The doc stressed that if I wasn't a VBAC then he could have done more, like a Foley to help, when I went in to labor before, but because of the induction risks my body either has to do this 100% on my own, or not at all. I am very lucky to have found my OB because I felt more than comfortable asking questions and know that I wasn't fed any BS answers. In the end, he was totally fine with me continuing this pregnancy until I hit 42 weeks, for him there is no harm in it as long as Miss M continued to rock out in utero. But if in the end I was still going to end up with a c-section, why put off the inevitable was my question?

Bottom line is that if the doc thought that there was a chance that this was going to happen he wouldn't have even brought up the c-section. But he did and I decided after talking it out with him (and confirmed that I was making a solidly informed decision with the Doula) that we are going to go ahead and end the misery, lol I mean pregnancy funness. (Although he did say that maybe by setting a date Miss M will get her act together and decide that life outside is fun too!)

So.... let the countdown begin.....