Moira has arrived!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Due Date Photo!
Here I am!
40 weeks and 1 day....
still very pregnant,
which I never would have thought I would be!
I have gone 2 weeks farther than ever before,
and even though I can't wait to button shirts again over my stomach,
I wouldn't trade it for anything!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Let the Countdown Begin!
Well today I went in for my weekly NST and OB appointment. I had everything crossed in the hopes that all these contractions weren't in vain, that I didn't drink castor oil twice for nothing, and that there was some sign that Miss M was going to get on board with this whole birth thing.
The non stress test went well, as usual. Miss M gets excited when we are in Labor and Delivery and has fun kicking the monitors off and causing a fuss. She looks great and I was out of there pretty quick. Then came the OB appointment....
When the doc walks in he always asks how the contractions are going.... this time I had to tell him that they have petered out all together and maybe I will have 1 or 2 Braxton Hicks a day, but nothing like what I was experiencing. He was happy that I was coming out of the promodral labor, but not that things weren't progressing with the contractions. Then he checked me and I could tell that he was dissapointed. Last week he had tugged my cervix down to get the baby to engage in my pelvis, which hurt more than words can express. Then he swept my membranes in the hopes of something happening. Well, my cervix popped right back up and Miss M is still happily floating about my belly, playing kickboard off of my ribs. And here is the even more frustrating part.... not only have I not progressed at all, but I REGRESSED!!!!! WTH?!
Where I was a solid 2 and over 50% effaced when I went in to L&D with those awesome contractions, now I am barely a 1! And it is not from lack of trying folks.... seriously, two words- CASTOR OIL! I know that in Ina May's book it mentions that labor can regress from stress and whatnot, but I don't think that my usual stresses and even worrying made my body regress.
The doc quickly ended the exam and we had a nice, long, very rational talk about what to do from here.... I mean, I love being pregnant and all but I would like to have Miss M before January! He was very candid about my chances of going into successful labor on my own from this point and stressed that he does not take dilation and effacement into consideration because those things can change quick. He also talked about that pesky ring of scar tissue and the fact that even though he has tried to massage it, it is really good scar tissue that is holding up. If my OB was any other OB then I would have taken his points with a grain of salt, but I know him and his reputation in the VBAC world. I know, with everything I know, that this man has done everything he can to help Miss M engage in my pelvis, get these contractions going somewhere, and have the vaginal birth that I have fought for.
Unfortunately, we both believe that it is just not in the cards for me.....
The doc stressed that if I wasn't a VBAC then he could have done more, like a Foley to help, when I went in to labor before, but because of the induction risks my body either has to do this 100% on my own, or not at all. I am very lucky to have found my OB because I felt more than comfortable asking questions and know that I wasn't fed any BS answers. In the end, he was totally fine with me continuing this pregnancy until I hit 42 weeks, for him there is no harm in it as long as Miss M continued to rock out in utero. But if in the end I was still going to end up with a c-section, why put off the inevitable was my question?
Bottom line is that if the doc thought that there was a chance that this was going to happen he wouldn't have even brought up the c-section. But he did and I decided after talking it out with him (and confirmed that I was making a solidly informed decision with the Doula) that we are going to go ahead and end the misery, lol I mean pregnancy funness. (Although he did say that maybe by setting a date Miss M will get her act together and decide that life outside is fun too!)
So.... let the countdown begin.....
The non stress test went well, as usual. Miss M gets excited when we are in Labor and Delivery and has fun kicking the monitors off and causing a fuss. She looks great and I was out of there pretty quick. Then came the OB appointment....
When the doc walks in he always asks how the contractions are going.... this time I had to tell him that they have petered out all together and maybe I will have 1 or 2 Braxton Hicks a day, but nothing like what I was experiencing. He was happy that I was coming out of the promodral labor, but not that things weren't progressing with the contractions. Then he checked me and I could tell that he was dissapointed. Last week he had tugged my cervix down to get the baby to engage in my pelvis, which hurt more than words can express. Then he swept my membranes in the hopes of something happening. Well, my cervix popped right back up and Miss M is still happily floating about my belly, playing kickboard off of my ribs. And here is the even more frustrating part.... not only have I not progressed at all, but I REGRESSED!!!!! WTH?!
Where I was a solid 2 and over 50% effaced when I went in to L&D with those awesome contractions, now I am barely a 1! And it is not from lack of trying folks.... seriously, two words- CASTOR OIL! I know that in Ina May's book it mentions that labor can regress from stress and whatnot, but I don't think that my usual stresses and even worrying made my body regress.
The doc quickly ended the exam and we had a nice, long, very rational talk about what to do from here.... I mean, I love being pregnant and all but I would like to have Miss M before January! He was very candid about my chances of going into successful labor on my own from this point and stressed that he does not take dilation and effacement into consideration because those things can change quick. He also talked about that pesky ring of scar tissue and the fact that even though he has tried to massage it, it is really good scar tissue that is holding up. If my OB was any other OB then I would have taken his points with a grain of salt, but I know him and his reputation in the VBAC world. I know, with everything I know, that this man has done everything he can to help Miss M engage in my pelvis, get these contractions going somewhere, and have the vaginal birth that I have fought for.
Unfortunately, we both believe that it is just not in the cards for me.....
The doc stressed that if I wasn't a VBAC then he could have done more, like a Foley to help, when I went in to labor before, but because of the induction risks my body either has to do this 100% on my own, or not at all. I am very lucky to have found my OB because I felt more than comfortable asking questions and know that I wasn't fed any BS answers. In the end, he was totally fine with me continuing this pregnancy until I hit 42 weeks, for him there is no harm in it as long as Miss M continued to rock out in utero. But if in the end I was still going to end up with a c-section, why put off the inevitable was my question?
Bottom line is that if the doc thought that there was a chance that this was going to happen he wouldn't have even brought up the c-section. But he did and I decided after talking it out with him (and confirmed that I was making a solidly informed decision with the Doula) that we are going to go ahead and end the misery, lol I mean pregnancy funness. (Although he did say that maybe by setting a date Miss M will get her act together and decide that life outside is fun too!)
So.... let the countdown begin.....
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Those Pesky Doubts...
I think that one of the hardest things about this journey is dealing with all the unknown factors in labor and delivery. Up until this point I was a cool confidant mama who just assumed that my body would fall in line with the whole going into labor bit. In the last week though I am starting to have doubts about whether my body will actually be able to work right and get this little one into the world without seeing the inside of an OR.
At my appointment about a week and a half ago my OB asked if I had had any surgery on my cervix, which I had not. Apparently I have a "funky" cervix that feels more like a ring of scar tissue and makes it really hard for others to check me and know that I am dilated. A week ago, when I thought that this was it, I went into L&D with contractions 2.5 mins apart and coming strong, yet wasn't dilated enough to be called real labor.... and the contractions have continued on and off but never strong enough to progress into labor.
Now I am worried that this funky cervix of mine can't dilate because if it feels like scar tissue will it be able to stretch like it needs to? I worry that I am having all this prodromal labor for nothing and even though my body is working hard, it just can't do what it needs to do... sigh.... I hate worrying!
I am anxious to see if I make it to my usual Weds appointment and if I have made any progress.... I just hope that I have and that my anatomy works with me and this baby girl (who is having a grand ole time propelling herself off of my ribs and headbutting my girlie parts!)
I am sure that lots of VBACing women have these doubts, especially at the end.... I just never expected anything to do with my anatomy to be the issue. And I know that my OB is doing his best to help things along in the most natural way possible, he won't even use a Foley Catheter to get things moving.... so it is all up to me to avoid the knife!
Say a prayer, light a candle, whatever you do.... here's to my funky cervix, lol!
At my appointment about a week and a half ago my OB asked if I had had any surgery on my cervix, which I had not. Apparently I have a "funky" cervix that feels more like a ring of scar tissue and makes it really hard for others to check me and know that I am dilated. A week ago, when I thought that this was it, I went into L&D with contractions 2.5 mins apart and coming strong, yet wasn't dilated enough to be called real labor.... and the contractions have continued on and off but never strong enough to progress into labor.
Now I am worried that this funky cervix of mine can't dilate because if it feels like scar tissue will it be able to stretch like it needs to? I worry that I am having all this prodromal labor for nothing and even though my body is working hard, it just can't do what it needs to do... sigh.... I hate worrying!
I am anxious to see if I make it to my usual Weds appointment and if I have made any progress.... I just hope that I have and that my anatomy works with me and this baby girl (who is having a grand ole time propelling herself off of my ribs and headbutting my girlie parts!)
I am sure that lots of VBACing women have these doubts, especially at the end.... I just never expected anything to do with my anatomy to be the issue. And I know that my OB is doing his best to help things along in the most natural way possible, he won't even use a Foley Catheter to get things moving.... so it is all up to me to avoid the knife!
Say a prayer, light a candle, whatever you do.... here's to my funky cervix, lol!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Naturally Inducing Labor FAIL
Yes, I know that babies are on their own schedule and that they will come when they are good and ready. And I definitely know that this little one is on a schedule that no one, not even the OB can figure out. But I have been having really intense contractions on and off for over a week now and even though this pregnancy has been fun and all, I am ready to get on with the VBAC action!
So yesterday at my weekly OB appointment my awesome Doc checked me and determined that not only is Miss M head down and ready to go, but he could sweep my membranes which he did.... (OUCH!). And he really surprised me when he suggested that maybe some castor oil would do the trick in getting these contractions to actually do something besides drive me nuts. Coming from a very cautious OB made me think that this was an AWESOME idea and that there was hope that it would work.... wrong!!
I looked online and tons of midwife and natural birth sites tote the dreaded castor oil as a miracle solution to getting labor going.... I read that I can either mix it with a food like eggs or drink it to make it more palatable....
First of all, that stuff is about as NASTY as it gets!!!!! I decided to mix it with some orange juice and made sure that the brand I got was odorless and tasteless. No one mentioned that the TEXTURE was going to be that of melted wax chunks!
Second of all, the thought of drinking the greasy concoction was enough to make me gag from the get go, and I hadn't even sipped any yet!
So I downed what I could, about 3 tablespoons (YUCK YUCK YUCK!) and went about my business. About 4 hours later it finally hit me and.... that was it. Sigh, yes the contractions started back up, and for a few hours they were intense and about 5 mins apart.... but nothing I couldn't talk through with effort. Double sigh..... I didn't even have to visit the bathroom again, lol.
Now I am trying to decide if I just didn't get enough down or if I am just destined to be preggers forever, lol. Oh, well... and that folks is my tale of the Dreaded Castor Oil!
So yesterday at my weekly OB appointment my awesome Doc checked me and determined that not only is Miss M head down and ready to go, but he could sweep my membranes which he did.... (OUCH!). And he really surprised me when he suggested that maybe some castor oil would do the trick in getting these contractions to actually do something besides drive me nuts. Coming from a very cautious OB made me think that this was an AWESOME idea and that there was hope that it would work.... wrong!!
I looked online and tons of midwife and natural birth sites tote the dreaded castor oil as a miracle solution to getting labor going.... I read that I can either mix it with a food like eggs or drink it to make it more palatable....
First of all, that stuff is about as NASTY as it gets!!!!! I decided to mix it with some orange juice and made sure that the brand I got was odorless and tasteless. No one mentioned that the TEXTURE was going to be that of melted wax chunks!
Second of all, the thought of drinking the greasy concoction was enough to make me gag from the get go, and I hadn't even sipped any yet!
So I downed what I could, about 3 tablespoons (YUCK YUCK YUCK!) and went about my business. About 4 hours later it finally hit me and.... that was it. Sigh, yes the contractions started back up, and for a few hours they were intense and about 5 mins apart.... but nothing I couldn't talk through with effort. Double sigh..... I didn't even have to visit the bathroom again, lol.
Now I am trying to decide if I just didn't get enough down or if I am just destined to be preggers forever, lol. Oh, well... and that folks is my tale of the Dreaded Castor Oil!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Trip #1 to Labor and Delivery
Lol, what a crazy last couple of days! Now that I have gotten some sleep and am lucid I can write about my first adventure going to Labor and Delivery while in labor.
So on Sunday evening, around 6pm I started having timable contractions that were somewhat steady. They were about 10 mins apart and more annoying/exciting than anything. By midnight I was getting them more frequently but tried to rest since I knew that I was pretty much in it for the long haul. Meanwhile my body had decided to cleanse itself (ugh!) and by 3am I was ready to call the doula and Klint home from work. Once everyone got here Michelle (my awesome Doula) just watched me while I fidgeted around, paced, and bounced on the birth ball.
Fast forward to 9am when the contractions were coming in at about 5 mins apart, steady, and were getting stronger. We hand the girls over to our neighbor who is like a grandmother to them and head over the L&D. They hook me up and I see that now these contractions are coming about 2 1/2 mins apart (YAY!). They weren't toooo bad yet, about a 5 on the pain scale (although I have to remember that my pain tolerance is really high so I try not to diminish what I am feeling). A little while later the nurse decides to check me to see where I am at. Now, mind you that last Weds my OB said I was 1cm and about 50% effaced. This nurse, however can't even find my cervix! WTF?! So she calls the house OB who is not exactly my favorite person and he says I am not dilated at all and 80% effaced. Ummmm..... not possible chief! My OB had warned me that I have a "funky cervix" and that it is going to be hard for the nurses to tell if I am dilated at first. Of course when I try to explain this they both ignore me...grrrr.
But luckily my OB wants me to stay, walk around, and see if there is any change. Contractions turn into really intense contractions and I am handling them awesome (if I do say so myself!), but still by 5pm I am not really doing much. Finally I ask for my own OB to check me and when he does I am only 2cm!! (Take that house OB!) I am given the choice between staying and seeing what happens and coming home.
I choose to come home since I was hungry and working off of 1.5 hours of sleep in over 24 hours. So here I am, a day later, still contracting but going about business as normal. I have an appointment to see a chiropractor tomorrow to see if we can get Miss M to align right, other than that it is still a waiting game!!
So on Sunday evening, around 6pm I started having timable contractions that were somewhat steady. They were about 10 mins apart and more annoying/exciting than anything. By midnight I was getting them more frequently but tried to rest since I knew that I was pretty much in it for the long haul. Meanwhile my body had decided to cleanse itself (ugh!) and by 3am I was ready to call the doula and Klint home from work. Once everyone got here Michelle (my awesome Doula) just watched me while I fidgeted around, paced, and bounced on the birth ball.
Fast forward to 9am when the contractions were coming in at about 5 mins apart, steady, and were getting stronger. We hand the girls over to our neighbor who is like a grandmother to them and head over the L&D. They hook me up and I see that now these contractions are coming about 2 1/2 mins apart (YAY!). They weren't toooo bad yet, about a 5 on the pain scale (although I have to remember that my pain tolerance is really high so I try not to diminish what I am feeling). A little while later the nurse decides to check me to see where I am at. Now, mind you that last Weds my OB said I was 1cm and about 50% effaced. This nurse, however can't even find my cervix! WTF?! So she calls the house OB who is not exactly my favorite person and he says I am not dilated at all and 80% effaced. Ummmm..... not possible chief! My OB had warned me that I have a "funky cervix" and that it is going to be hard for the nurses to tell if I am dilated at first. Of course when I try to explain this they both ignore me...grrrr.
But luckily my OB wants me to stay, walk around, and see if there is any change. Contractions turn into really intense contractions and I am handling them awesome (if I do say so myself!), but still by 5pm I am not really doing much. Finally I ask for my own OB to check me and when he does I am only 2cm!! (Take that house OB!) I am given the choice between staying and seeing what happens and coming home.
I choose to come home since I was hungry and working off of 1.5 hours of sleep in over 24 hours. So here I am, a day later, still contracting but going about business as normal. I have an appointment to see a chiropractor tomorrow to see if we can get Miss M to align right, other than that it is still a waiting game!!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Oh the Joys of the Unknown!
So this weekend I got to experience my first taste of the whole "Is it time?" issue with labor. Since I have never been in labor on my own, didn't have real contractions before, and never have had any of the "normal" signs that labor is beginning I am pretty clueless about what is going on with my body right now. Fun huh?
On Friday I went out and about, was perfectly fine until about 4-ish when my back really started bothering me. Across my lower back was a band of pain that just refused to subside... it sucked really! As the night got on it got a little bit worse, enough to allow me a lovely 3 hours of sleep the WHOLE NIGHT... ugh. But while I wasn't sleepy, I felt like cleaning or doing something, anything really. (At 3am I was really considering scrubbing the floor in the kitchen....) The pain wasn't terrible, just a nuisance, but I texted my doula to let her know what was going on. I didn't think I was in labor, but like I said, what do I know? I wasn't having contractions that hurt or any other sign of labor so she told me to try to rest in case this was the real deal.
By Saturday the back pain was still there, enough to make me want to permanently adhere my hot pad to my lower backside. But that was it.... nothing else. And I was still fully functioning on 3 hours of sleep. We went for a 2 hr stroll around the mall, I sexually assaulted Klint in the hopes of getting something going, and bounced on the birth ball for awhile. Yet, back pain was there with no other changes.
So here I am, Sunday evening... no changes... and I have absolutely no clue when this little girl is going to decide to come. Lol, but that is ok because she is the one who gets to decide and that is pretty cool to me!
On Friday I went out and about, was perfectly fine until about 4-ish when my back really started bothering me. Across my lower back was a band of pain that just refused to subside... it sucked really! As the night got on it got a little bit worse, enough to allow me a lovely 3 hours of sleep the WHOLE NIGHT... ugh. But while I wasn't sleepy, I felt like cleaning or doing something, anything really. (At 3am I was really considering scrubbing the floor in the kitchen....) The pain wasn't terrible, just a nuisance, but I texted my doula to let her know what was going on. I didn't think I was in labor, but like I said, what do I know? I wasn't having contractions that hurt or any other sign of labor so she told me to try to rest in case this was the real deal.
By Saturday the back pain was still there, enough to make me want to permanently adhere my hot pad to my lower backside. But that was it.... nothing else. And I was still fully functioning on 3 hours of sleep. We went for a 2 hr stroll around the mall, I sexually assaulted Klint in the hopes of getting something going, and bounced on the birth ball for awhile. Yet, back pain was there with no other changes.
So here I am, Sunday evening... no changes... and I have absolutely no clue when this little girl is going to decide to come. Lol, but that is ok because she is the one who gets to decide and that is pretty cool to me!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The More I Know the More I am Thinking!
The more I find out now the more I am realizing how different the births of AJ and Gabby should have gone. Honestly it pisses me off! Here is the latest realization concerning AJ's "high heart rate" and her emergency delivery.
I have been having to go to Labor and Delivery every week for non-stress tests. It has been overall a good experience because I get to know the nurses there and have made good connections. It is a little stressful though because I have noticed that Miss M has a pretty high heart rate and when she gets going it easily is in the 210 range- right where AJ was when the old OB demanded that she come out right now. The first time that Miss M was getting all rowdy and I was seeing these really high heart rates, I started to panic. The nurse came in and she said, "Well, I just got off the phone with Dr. Gingo..." and immediately I thought the worst. BUT then she continued. "He said I wasn't doing a good job positioning you." What?!!!
Apparently, when a pregnant woman is either laying in a bad position or a position that the baby doesn't care for, the heart rate will get elevated and she can't settle down. The nurse also gave me some water and what do you know? Miss M settled down and I was on my way!! Amazing! I had thought for sure that I was going to be wheeled in for an emergency c-section, because that is what happened last time.
But now I can look at the facts surrounding what happened with AJ. 1. I was probably dehydrated because I was trying to get through the appointment and get to work. 2. I was sitting flat in a reclining chair with the monitors on. 3. I had never had a NST before so there was no way for the OB to know whether this was normal or not for AJ. And finally, 4. She didn't try to adjust me or anything to get the heart rate lower. In fact, I couldn't see the monitor at all so I have no clue whether the elevation was for a short time or whatnot.
So did I really need that emergency c-section? I don't know... but given the old OB's track record with honestly and such, I know that nothing was done to prevent it before the decision was made. Maybe I did really need to get her out asap... but it putting a pillow under my side and giving me a glass of water calmed Miss M down, maybe it would have done the same for AJ?
Just food for thought!
Incubated AJ since she was taken out so suddenly |
Apparently, when a pregnant woman is either laying in a bad position or a position that the baby doesn't care for, the heart rate will get elevated and she can't settle down. The nurse also gave me some water and what do you know? Miss M settled down and I was on my way!! Amazing! I had thought for sure that I was going to be wheeled in for an emergency c-section, because that is what happened last time.
Going home! 4 days in the NICU |
So did I really need that emergency c-section? I don't know... but given the old OB's track record with honestly and such, I know that nothing was done to prevent it before the decision was made. Maybe I did really need to get her out asap... but it putting a pillow under my side and giving me a glass of water calmed Miss M down, maybe it would have done the same for AJ?
Just food for thought!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Homestretch is in Sight
It is hard to believe that these months have passed by so fast.... From that shocking first moment, holding the pregnancy test in my hand and yelling "Shit, shit, OH MY GOD SHIT" (lol) to now when I am seeing my OB every week, talking to my Doula, and feeling this little girl gear up for her big debut.
Last night I had a great conversation with my friend Tara, who is a certified Doula in the WNY area. She is a HUGE birth advocate and called to tell me about her latest birth that she attended- a VBAC that almost didn't happen. It was a great story with a lot of important information such as the usefulness of certain interventions like epidurals and Pitocin. What struck me about our conversation though is that Tara pointed out how different my views on birth are now compared to when I first found out I was expecting again.
I used to think that my OB was always looking out for my best interests and the health of the baby. I used to think that c-sections were the only way for me since I had 2 previously. I used to think that c-sections were easier for everyone and that there was NO WAY in heck I was going to birth naturally. (I used to tell people that unless I was getting a free car at the end of my hospital stay, why put myself through all that pain?) I used to think that women who birthed naturally were gluttons for pain, hippies, or trying to prove something. And I used to think that I didn't have the option to say No to an intervention that I didn't want to happen without good reason.
What a difference a movie, some books, a network of devoted women, a web board that offers information, and some cojones can do in a mere 4 months!
Last night I had a great conversation with my friend Tara, who is a certified Doula in the WNY area. She is a HUGE birth advocate and called to tell me about her latest birth that she attended- a VBAC that almost didn't happen. It was a great story with a lot of important information such as the usefulness of certain interventions like epidurals and Pitocin. What struck me about our conversation though is that Tara pointed out how different my views on birth are now compared to when I first found out I was expecting again.
I used to think that my OB was always looking out for my best interests and the health of the baby. I used to think that c-sections were the only way for me since I had 2 previously. I used to think that c-sections were easier for everyone and that there was NO WAY in heck I was going to birth naturally. (I used to tell people that unless I was getting a free car at the end of my hospital stay, why put myself through all that pain?) I used to think that women who birthed naturally were gluttons for pain, hippies, or trying to prove something. And I used to think that I didn't have the option to say No to an intervention that I didn't want to happen without good reason.
What a difference a movie, some books, a network of devoted women, a web board that offers information, and some cojones can do in a mere 4 months!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I Found My Nurse!
So I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but starting at 31 weeks I have had to go for Non Stress Tests as a "precaution", Usually you only hear about high risk preggos having to go for these, but since my OB is really cautious, apparently having 2 previous c-sections puts me in the high risk category in his book. I complied because the tests are non-invasive and I see it as a chance to develop a relationship with the nurses in L&D.
Well, today that plan worked! There is one nurse in particular that is really nice and was actually offered a job as a doula by a mutual contact of ours, so I know that she is very supportive to a laboring woman. This nurse offered today to come attend my birth, even if she is off, and talked to my OB about it to let him know that she is who I wanted with me at delivery time. All in all, I LOVE her! She is really supportive of my VBA2C and knows that I am planning to go all natural. I am relieved because that takes away my worry of having a nurse that is not supportive and will try to push interventions on me that I don't want.
Even though I hate going to these NSTs because I think that my pregnancy does not warrant them, at least now I can visit with Annie!
Well, today that plan worked! There is one nurse in particular that is really nice and was actually offered a job as a doula by a mutual contact of ours, so I know that she is very supportive to a laboring woman. This nurse offered today to come attend my birth, even if she is off, and talked to my OB about it to let him know that she is who I wanted with me at delivery time. All in all, I LOVE her! She is really supportive of my VBA2C and knows that I am planning to go all natural. I am relieved because that takes away my worry of having a nurse that is not supportive and will try to push interventions on me that I don't want.
Even though I hate going to these NSTs because I think that my pregnancy does not warrant them, at least now I can visit with Annie!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Meeting My Doula!
There were a few surprises though such as choosing a "code word" for when I REALLY want some pain meds. This way I can talk crazy and verbalize my pain without actually giving in to the pain.... cool huh?
(Basically she told me that during transition I will probably talk some serious crazy talk and this way I can scream my dear little butt off and no one will take me seriously until I say the code word which is not a normal word I would use!)
She asked Klint how he thinks he is going to handle me laboring and I can honestly say that I am sure he feels relieved that I now have a person who will be there from start to finish and he can do what he needs to do, like take the girls to a friend's house, without fear of having to leave me alone.
There are so many reasons to find a Doula, but here is what a Doula can do according to DONA which is the organization that trains Doulas:
Numerous clinical studies have found that a doula’s presence at birth
- tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications
- reduces negative feelings about one’s childbirth experience
- reduces the need for pitocin (a labor-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction and cesareans
- reduces the mother’s request for pain medication and/or epidurals
Research shows parents who receive support can:
- Feel more secure and cared for
- Are more successful in adapting to new family dynamics
- Have greater success with breastfeeding
- Have greater self-confidence
- Have less postpartum depression
- Have lower incidence of abuse
I really think that having a Doula is one of the best choices I can make for this birth, which is coming up fast! I am sure you will be hearing more about Michelle as time goes on!
Friday, September 24, 2010
What's The Difference?
This is the difference between a "hospital managed" birth and a VBAC where the woman is in control of labor and naturally lets birth happen, rather than be given orders. How inspiring!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
A Beautiful All Natural Hospital VBAC
This wonderful photo slide show of a VBAC that was all natural AND took place in the hospital has taken my breathe away. Especially since I am nearing the end of this journey and have periods of doubt and such, this is just the inspiration that I needed to keep my resolve. I know in my head that this VBA2C is the best for me and the baby... it is just the unknown that is a bit scary.
But, just look at the resolve in her eyes.... it is wonderful, beautiful, and sooooo inspiring! Check out the whole thing here!!
But, just look at the resolve in her eyes.... it is wonderful, beautiful, and sooooo inspiring! Check out the whole thing here!!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Update on Miss M
Since Miss M is the reason for this blog I figured that I would give you all a quick update. Last Weds I went for a Level 2 Ultrasound to check on Miss M's little oddities that were discovered at her 20 week anatomy scan. I wasn't really concerned with the findings because a) My quad screen had come back negative for Downs and such, b) It was done in my OB's office not at a real Ultrasound Tech's office, c) My former OB had a tendency to turn pregnancy into a medical emergency so I did my research on what the findings were and knew that they were common. So what were these oddities?
Well Miss M had a small cyst on her brain, a slight dilation of one of her kidneys, and ....the tech couldn't see the top bone in her pinkie.... seriously, her pinkie!
My new (and awesome) OB was most interested in making sure that kidney was not dilated more, he laughed actually at the pinkie thing. And he sent me to an office that only does this sort of thing so that we knew that the findings were more conclusive.
Luckily not only is everything 100% perfect but she is actually growing a little ahead of schedule. Do you see those chubby cheeks?! No wonder I am not gaining any weight, this kiddo is taking all the good stuff! The tech was really cool and I got to see all 4 chambers of her heart working away, her tugging on her cord like it is a dinner bell, and she even got feisty with the tech by kicking the doppler off my belly!
So there ya go... everything is good and on schedule. Maybe this little chipmunk will cook a little faster and be a November baby instead of the December baby she is supposed to be!
Well Miss M had a small cyst on her brain, a slight dilation of one of her kidneys, and ....the tech couldn't see the top bone in her pinkie.... seriously, her pinkie!
My new (and awesome) OB was most interested in making sure that kidney was not dilated more, he laughed actually at the pinkie thing. And he sent me to an office that only does this sort of thing so that we knew that the findings were more conclusive.
Luckily not only is everything 100% perfect but she is actually growing a little ahead of schedule. Do you see those chubby cheeks?! No wonder I am not gaining any weight, this kiddo is taking all the good stuff! The tech was really cool and I got to see all 4 chambers of her heart working away, her tugging on her cord like it is a dinner bell, and she even got feisty with the tech by kicking the doppler off my belly!
So there ya go... everything is good and on schedule. Maybe this little chipmunk will cook a little faster and be a November baby instead of the December baby she is supposed to be!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
NY Times Article Regarding Caesareans
Majority of Caesareans Are Done Before Labor
By DENISE GRADY
Published: August 30, 2010
A new study suggests several reasons for the nation’s rising Caesarean section rate, including the increased use of drugs to induce labor, the tendency to give up on labor too soon and deliver babies surgically instead of waiting for nature to take its course, and the failure to allow women with previous Caesareans to try to give birth vaginally.
Thirty-two percent of all births in the United States — nearly 1 in 3 — now occur by Caesarean section. The operations have been increasing steadily since 1996, setting records year after year, and have become the most common surgery in American hospitals. About 1.4 million Caesareans were performed in 2007, the latest year for which figures are available. The increases have caused debate and concern.
The concern arises because Caesareans pose a risk of surgical complications and research has found that they are more likely than normal births to cause problems that can put the mother back in the hospital and the infant in intensive care. Risks to the mother also increase with each subsequent Caesarean, because it raises the odds that the uterus will rupture in the next pregnancy, which can seriously harm both the mother and the baby.
Caesareans also increase the risk of dangerous abnormalities in the placenta during later pregnancies, which can cause hemorrhaging and lead to a hysterectomy. Repeated Caesareans can make it risky or even impossible to have a large family. In addition, costs for a Caesarean are nearly twice those for a vaginal delivery.
Most women who have had one or even two Caesareans can at least try to give birth vaginally, and studies have found that 60 to 80 percent succeed. But vaginal births after Caesarean sections have become increasingly uncommon.
Worries about the ever-increasing Caesarean rate led the National Institutes of Health to form a Consortium on Safe Labor, which performed a detailed analysis of electronic records from 228,668 births at 19 hospitals in the United States from 2002 to 2008. The study is the first to analyze how often Caesareans were performed before women went into labor (more than half the time) and how often after labor had begun.
The results were published this month by the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, and described in a telephone briefing by two of the authors, Dr. Jun Zhang and Dr. S. Katherine Laughon, from the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.
Dr. Zhang said one thing that surprised him about the study was that a third of first-time mothers were having Caesareans. Although it was known that the overall Caesarean rate was 32 percent, some of that was thought to be due to repeat Caesareans.
The main reason for a Caesarean was a prior Caesarean. But in women who have not had Caesareans before, one factor that may increase the risk is the use of drugs to induce labor. The practice has been increasing, and the study found that induced labor, compared with spontaneous labor, was twice as likely to result in a Caesarean.
In the study, 44 percent of the women who were trying vaginal delivery had their labor induced. When Caesareans were done after induction, half were performed before the woman’s cervix had dilated to six centimeters, “suggesting that clinical impatience may play a role,” the authors wrote. Full dilation is 10 centimeters, and a Caesarean before six centimeters may be too soon, the researchers said.
Like other studies, this one found that few women were offered a chance to try vaginal birth after Caesarean.
“Physicians and patients may be less committed” to the vaginal births, the authors said.
Dr. Zhang said it appeared likely that the Caesarean rate in this country would keep increasing, though he said he hoped it would never match the rates in Brazil (70 percent) or China (60 percent). If there is any hope of reducing the rate in the United States, or at least slowing the increase, he and his colleagues said, the key is to lower the rate among first-time mothers and increase the rate of vaginal birth after Caesarean.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Homestretch Already!
Well folks, the third trimester is here! I officially can't breathe most of the time since Miss M decided that my ribcage makes a good pillow and most days I think she is trying to break out of my belly button.
I have been busy reading Ina May every night, watching You Tube videos of natural childbirth to get me in the mindset that it can be done, and reading lots of posts on my BabyCenter VBAC board- especially the success stories!
One of the most inspirational and pretty videos I have seen yet is this one. Not only is the woman totally in control of her birth, but she is SINGING! It is one of my favorite songs called The Irish Blessing.
I have been busy reading Ina May every night, watching You Tube videos of natural childbirth to get me in the mindset that it can be done, and reading lots of posts on my BabyCenter VBAC board- especially the success stories!
One of the most inspirational and pretty videos I have seen yet is this one. Not only is the woman totally in control of her birth, but she is SINGING! It is one of my favorite songs called The Irish Blessing.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
It's All Relative
When you talk about a VBAC two words that get quickly ingrained in your head is uterine rupture. The risks of, that dangers of, the possibility of.... it is the first thing my former OB brought up and purposely inflated all details about it to scare me out of even researching a VBA2C for this baby. When I called, and called, and called other OB offices and they promptly denied me, uterine rupture was the reason for them saying a very quick NO!
But really, when you think about it... yes, there is a risk. But isn't there a risk in everything we do? When we choose to drive, fly, eat at a restaurant, have sex, park downtown, etc.... there are all risks associated with these actions. Rarely though are you in a hospital where if the unthinkable does happen you are in good hands.
Here are some statistics to put it all in perspective: (from here)
But really, when you think about it... yes, there is a risk. But isn't there a risk in everything we do? When we choose to drive, fly, eat at a restaurant, have sex, park downtown, etc.... there are all risks associated with these actions. Rarely though are you in a hospital where if the unthinkable does happen you are in good hands.
Here are some statistics to put it all in perspective: (from here)
Your risk of dying in a car accident, over the course of a lifetime, is between 1 in 42 and 1 in 75. This is roughly 4 to 5 times greater than the risk of uterine rupture.
You're about twice as likely to have your car stolen (that's an annual risk) than to experience a uterine rupture.
Your odds of being murdered are 1 in 140 over the course of you lifetime. That's 2 times more likely than the risk of rupture.
The annual risk of having a heart attack in 1 in 160, 2 times more likely than rupture.
If you're a smoker, your risk of dying from lung cancer is 1 and a half times more likely than a VBAC mom having a uterine rupture during her labor.
You're about 17 times more likely to contact an STD this year than having a uterine rupture, more likely to contract gonorrhea as well.
You're 13 times more likely to get food poisoning than to rupture.
You're more likely to have twins than to rupture. Odds of twins: 1 in 90. That's about 3 1/2 times the likelihood of uterine rupture.
If you ride horseback, you're 3 times more likely to die in a riding accident than you are to experience uterine rupture.
If you ride a bike on the street, you are 4 times more likely to die (annual risk) than to suffer a uterine rupture.
Having a serious fire in your home during the next year is twice as likely as experiencing a uterine rupture.
You're 10 times more likely to win at roulette than you are to have a uterine rupture.
If you flip a coin, you're more likely to get heads (or tails) 8 times in a row than you are to rupture.
The risk of cord prolapse is 1 in 37 (2.7%) or nearly 10 times more likely than that of uterine rupture.
And a final irony (heads up those of you who want a doctor to give his/her opinion on the likelihood of rupture next pregnancy!):
You're 6 times more likely to have a doctor who is animpostor than you are to suffer a rupture. 2% of docs are phonies (1 in 50), according to several sources I found.
So, instead of worrying about rupture, why not take a few minutes to check up on your doctor's credentials? :) It'd be a more profitable use of your time, and a substantially more likely cause for alarm.
Here's a few more I came across on my own (keep in mind the odds of uterine rupture are roughly 1 in 200 or .5% (though I have seen it as low as .3% or 4%)):
Your odds of dying from cancer is 1 in 7
Your odds of dying as a result from a stroke, 1 in 23
You're odds of dying from committing suicide, 1 in 121.
Monday, August 23, 2010
7 Ways to Help Have a Better Labor
I spotted this article in the Prenatal Yoga website and thought I would share it with everyone since it is such simple things like these that can make a HUGE difference in your labor experience!
Here are some ideas to try to help make your labor more comfortable, less painful and (hopefully) shorter.
1. Heat – I typically bring a hot water bottle with me to births. However you can use a hot rice sock or a warm wash cloth. Most laboring women like to apply the heat to the lower back or lower abdomen. When using heat, the support people around should make sure that the heating device is not too hot, test it on your inner arm before applying to the laboring woman’s body.
How heat helps? “Heat increases local skin temperature, circulation and tissue metabolism. It reduces muscle spasm and raises the pain threshold.” (Therapeutic Heat and Cold by J.F. Lehmann)
2. Cold – Some women respond better with a cool touch than a hot one. If that is the case, I recommend using an old fashion ice bag, a latex glove filled with ice chips, a frozen rice sock, a frozen bottle of water or a cold wash cloth. With the cold packs, I recommend placing or rolling these items on the mother’s lower back, or draping the cold wash cloth on the back of her neck.
How cold helps? “Cold is especially useful for musculoskeletal and joint pain. Cold decreases muscle spasm - longer than heat. It reduces sensation in the area by lowering tissue temperature, which slows the transmission of pain and other impulses over sensory neurons.” (Therapeutic Heat and Cold by J.F. Lehmann)
3. Shower or Bath – The feeling of warm water on your belly and back during labor can be a life saver! You may find that the water helps alleviate the pain and distracts you from such intense sensation. This would be especially good if you are having back labor. If the laboring woman is too tired to stand in the shower, place a stool or the birth ball in the shower or tub. Again, it is important for the partner or doula to monitor the temperature of the water and make sure it is not too hot. Because the bath or shower is so relaxing, I typically do not use this method of pain relief until the mother appears to be in active labor because it can slow labor down. However, if the early stage of labor is rather drawn out and the mother needs to relax, a bath or shower could be the perfect solution.
How the shower or bath helps? The warmth of the water on the mother’s body can be very mentally and physically relaxing. The water pressure can help alleviate muscle tension and back pain. “The effects of immersion in water may be summarized as the following: bathing provides buoyancy and warmth, both of which often bring immediate pain relief, relaxation, lowering of catecholamines, increases oxytocin, and more rapid active labor progress. (The Labor Progress Handbook by Penny Simkins and Ruth Ancheta)
4. Birth Ball – The Birth Ball is a large physiotherapy ball- typically 65 cm is appropriate for the average size woman. It can be used prior to labor to help alleviate back pain and promote an ideal fetal position. Many women are surprised by my advice to bring it to the hospital with them.
How the Birth Ball helps? During labor it is particularly useful to sit on the ball which promotes a natural swaying and rocking of the pelvic. This motion can encourage fetal descent and help alleviate lower back tension, as well as provides gentle support for the perineum. As an alternative to being on all fours, lean over the birth ball. This position encourages an anterior position of the baby and takes pressure off the mother’s back. You can also place the ball on the bed, table or couch and leans over it while standing and swaying your hips. This helps use gravity and again encourages fetal descent.
Don’t deflate your birth ball too soon, when your baby is being fussy, gently bounce on the ball. Babies really love the movement!
5. Change Positions Often – Changing position every 20-30 minutes may help reduce the woman’s pain significantly. There are several common positions for women to use during labor. Side lying, semi seated positions, upright seated, standing and leaning forward, kneeling and leaning forward, all fours (hands and knees), child’s pose, asymmetrical lunge in the upright position and squatting.
How change of position helps? Changing positions often gives the woman a chance to experiment and discover what positions seem comfortable and effective, but also allows the baby to move around in the pelvis, encouraging fetal descent and moving into an ideal birthing position. Also, if the labor is slowing down, changing positions may help the mom get back into a rhythm that is comforting and shift the baby into the most advantageous position for passage through the pelvis.
6. “Set the Stage” – It has become more common for women to birth in hospitals instead of their home. (Although studies included prospectively reported data from more than 5000 women planning home births with Certified Professional Midwives in the year 2000 in the U.S. and Can, and found that outcomes for mothers and babies were the same as for low-risk mothers giving birth in hospitals, but with a fraction of the interventions…but I digress). So, to give the stark hospital room a bit more of a “homey” feeling, set the stage! One dramatic difference you could easily make would be turning off the bright lights. Also, some women bring their own pillows or night gowns. Others bring music or pictures that are inspiring or comforting. The partner, husband or doula can help handle “crowd control” and not allow to many unnecessary staff people disturb the laboring woman.
How setting the stage helps? “What is needed for effective labor with lowered levels of stress hormones is a comfortable, dimly lit, cozy space that allows you to access the part of your primitive brain that sets up the process of hormonal ebb and flow and facilitates the smoothest functioning of the normal birth process. We share this need for privacy during labor with virtually all other female mammals.” (Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin)
7. Massage – I have met very few laboring women that do not appreciate a reassuring and relaxing massage. You do not need to be a professional massage therapist to give some one you love a little helpful massage. All you have to do is move into the massage with the intention of helping to release tight muscles and alleviate pain and most importantly, watch for the woman’s response. She may not verbally tell you if you are doing it right, so watch for her facial expressions and sounds.
How massage helps? Massage has been credited with helping to reduce pain, anxiety and fear by increasing endorphin levels in the body. Several of the common areas that the laboring mom may enjoy to have massaged are the lower back, neck, shoulders, hands and feet. Also keep in mind, the more relaxed you are, the less painful the contraction will seem. The more stressed you are, the more painful the contractions will seem. Final tip- be prepared with lotions or oils that smell good to you. Just the smell of the products may help relax you.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
An Interesting Read... from 2006!
In September 2006 I was trying to convince my husband that another child would be good for our little family and a year later that is exactly what happened. However, when I got pregnant with Amelia, my OB had already decided that another c-section was my only option and refused to discuss the possibility of a VBAC. I had never thought to question her or research my options because I didn't think I had any. (This is all moot point of course because AJ was born via emergency c-section due to distress at 37 weeks- her heart rate was in the 200's!)
But, had I done any research hopefully I would have come across this wonderfully written article by Dr. Mark Landon that was posted in the Ohio State University Medical Center.
This study is really good because it is a huge pool of women and shows what the true risk of rupture is plus how small the risk of a catastrophic rupture (fetal death or brain damage) is. It is just too bad that it took ACOG 4 years to take notice and change its views on VBAMC.
But, had I done any research hopefully I would have come across this wonderfully written article by Dr. Mark Landon that was posted in the Ohio State University Medical Center.
The 19-academic center study was led by Landon and conducted through the National Institutes of Health, Maternal Fetal Medicine Units Network. Its data included more than 45,000 patients with previous cesarean section, which included almost 18,000 women undergoing a trial of labor or an attempt at VBAC.
Landon found that the risk of uterine rupture was 0.9 percent in cases of women with a history of multiple prior cesarean deliveries undergoing a trial of labor, compared with 0.7 percent in the cases of patients who had experienced only one previous cesarean delivery. These data challenge the notion that women with more than one prior cesarean are at dramatically increased risk for uterine rupture with a VBAC attempt."Huh.... interesting that not only does this state the risks of VBACing with 1 c-section but multiple, AND states that the risk increases only minimally with multiple surgeries. And this was back in 2006! Before ACOG released the new guidelines stating basically the same thing- that women with multiple c-sections CAN benefit from trying for a vaginal birth.
This study is really good because it is a huge pool of women and shows what the true risk of rupture is plus how small the risk of a catastrophic rupture (fetal death or brain damage) is. It is just too bad that it took ACOG 4 years to take notice and change its views on VBAMC.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
A Great but Scary Article
Hi all!!!
Man oh man is it getting busy at my house! We just celebrated my oldest daughter's birthday on the 16th, went raspberry picking, have been getting ready for school which starts in one week, and all the while teaching dance among all my other jobs.... whew!
Anyhow, I was on my VBAC Support board on Babycenter and saw this article and got chills. I mean, I knew that this kind of medical battery happened... but the stories this woman could tell is so horrifying that I really want to take some kind of action. The bottom line is that this kind of thing should not happen...
Man oh man is it getting busy at my house! We just celebrated my oldest daughter's birthday on the 16th, went raspberry picking, have been getting ready for school which starts in one week, and all the while teaching dance among all my other jobs.... whew!
Anyhow, I was on my VBAC Support board on Babycenter and saw this article and got chills. I mean, I knew that this kind of medical battery happened... but the stories this woman could tell is so horrifying that I really want to take some kind of action. The bottom line is that this kind of thing should not happen...
Anyone who has been to a doctor in the last dozen years has seen and signed the HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability & Accountability Act) form given out by their doctor or hospital. The HIPAA Privacy Rule was specifically designed to protect the privacy and integrity of personal health information collected by medical professionals about their patients.
Essentially this means that it is illegal to release the specifics of a patient case you may have either attended or witnessed. Thinking in terms of a laboring woman, what happens in her hospital room stays in her hospital room.
Doulas are not bound to HIPAA, but we do carry a professional code of ethics which makes it unprofessional to openly discuss our clients’ cases. Some of us may gather in small circles to privately work out our thoughts on situations we may have been in, and try to grow our knowledge base by sharing experiences. However, it is considered quite unprofessional to openly discuss any identifying details of a specific mother’s birth experience.
Of course, privacy is essential to trust. A woman cannot trust a provider who would willingly pass the details of her case around the internet for all the world to see. For the most part, it is nobody’s business what happens during her labor.
Well, unless it IS.
Speaking in generalities, because I will not discuss specific cases, I can tell you that some things I’ve witnessed as a doula in a labor room have been nothing short of a crime. Women have the right to informed consent and refusal, and I have seen cases where that right is violated over and over again throughout a labor. According to the American Medical Association,
“Informed consent is more than simply getting a patient to sign a written consent form. It is a process of communication between a patient and physician that results in the patient’s authorization or agreement to undergo a specific medical intervention…
…This communications process, or a variation thereof, is both an ethical obligation and a legal requirement spelled out in statutes and case law in all 50 states.”
So what happens when a woman flatly refuses to give consent, and a physician performs a procedure without her authorization and against her will? Katherine Prown, Ph.D. tells us,
“The legal doctrine of informed consent/refusal developed from the laws on battery. In a medical setting battery is defined as touching or treatment that occurs without obtaining proper informed consent; medical treatments that are substantially different from the ones a patient consented to; treatment that exceeds the scope of consent; or treatment provided by a physician other than the physician who obtained the patient’s consent. As case law on informed consent/refusal evolved, however, the courts increasingly defined lack of proper consent as a matter of negligence. Negligence requires that the lack of proper consent or failure to meet the standard of care resulted in emotional or physical harm worthy of monetary compensation. In certain circumstances in which monetary compensation is not an issue, though, the laws on battery may still apply.”
Given this, I have borne witness to cases where a woman’s rights are so flagrantly violated that it seems like an obscene injustice not to tell the world about what happened to her. But once the labor is over, the dozen or so people in that room simply move on to another labor, and because of privacy laws like HIPAA, nothing that happened is ever shared with the public.
You might be asking “Is it really that bad? Can it really, seriously be that bad?” You tell me. (**Trigger Warning**)
- I have seen a mother flat out refuse a procedure and/or treatment and the doctor say, verbatim, “You can say no, but we’re doing it anyway.” And they did. And nobody in the room could stop them.
- I’ve seen the mother’s parents get into yelling matches with the nurse or doctor because the medical staff constantly coerced or threatened the laboring woman to the point of emotional distress.
- I’ve seen a doctor stand over a woman and force her to “pre-authorize” a major intervention that was neither wanted, needed, or ever actually used during the labor, and refuse to leave the room until her signature was on the paper – giving her no time to contemplate the decision or discuss it with her family.
- I’ve seen a woman scream “No, stop!” while trying to kick a doctor’s hands out of her, as she tries climbing up the back of the bed to escape, while the doctor ignored her pleas and reaches farther into her vagina – blood curdling screams fill the room.
- I’ve had women cry and beg me to help them – to keep the doctor or nurse from doing whatever it is they’re doing to them – and I can’t help at all. Being a bodyguard is outside my professional scope of practice.
- I’ve seen a woman say she does not want an episiotomy, and the doctor say “Sorry” (snip, snip, snip)“I had to make some room.”
On one hand, I’m glad I was there to help those women in whatever way I could. On the other hand, it’s terribly stressful having witnessed crimes against women and know that professional secrecy will prevent everyone in that room from discussing what happened to her.
Of course the mother could take this information to the authorities, but that rarely ever happens. On one hand, as long as the mother came out with a healthy baby, nobody cares how she was treated in the process. She would need to have a damaged baby to have any sort of a legal case that an attorney would see worth his/her time. It’s also quite easy for a laboring woman not to remember or understand the details of what was being done to her. She’s in laborland – not taking minutes in a meeting. Women also have a hard time coming to terms with being violated.
This is the same reason so many women don’t report rape. After the incident is over, they just want it to be over. They don’t want to think about it, or drag it through a court system. They may think that it’s partially their fault, or that going public may put their story under embarassing and unfair scrutiny. When I took my VBAC story to the Chicago Tribune, my obstetrician accused women like me of having a “control issue.” No apology. No admission that his behavior was unethical and potentially illegal. He simply blamed me for not submitting to his violation. There are a million reasons women do not report violations, coupled with a million violators who continue to practice the way they do without anyone holding them accountable.
What can be done? At what point can we, who witness these crimes, open this can of worms and start talking about what is happening to individual women every single day in this system of ours? I know that it’s not my place to file complaint about the way a woman was treated, but if there’s no transparency, where does that leave us? I can tell you that it leaves me angry in my bones and feeling sick to my stomach.
In the mean time, I have to decide whether or not I can handle seeing any more of these hospital births, or if I should send women in to the lion’s den without someone like me there to help them in whatever small way I can. It’s a tough decision, and one that I may grapple with for a long time to come.
(Source: The Feminist Breeder.com)
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